No More Monkeys Jumping On The Bed
March 29, 2010
The Giving Tree expects nothing in return. The Little Engine can. You are five.
Comfort comes in the form of fiction. There are no monsters in the closet. Nothing bad will happen to you in the dark. Mommy will always be here if you need her.
You’ll learn things by heart. You’ll memorize your favorite bedtime stories, as well as the shoe-tying rhyme about bunny ears. Under, over, around the bend…
Math will be a little more complicated. Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed will teach you more about jumping on the bed than about subtraction. You have a one-track mind.
You won’t care about penmanship. You’ll hold the pencil in your hand and ask what kind of wood it’s made of. Who thought to make pencils and why are they yellow and what does the #2 mean? I’ll have to look it up.
English will be the breaking point. Like Ricky Ricardo in an I Love Lucy episode, you will want to know how one combination of vowels could possibly make so many combinations of sounds. But you’ll phrase it like this: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LEARN THIS WHEN IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE? You’ll break your pencil. You’ll shake and cry. I will not be equipped to solve this problem.
